Wishing My Life Was Different

Dear Therapist,

I have a severe case of "the grass is always greener". However, I wish it was so simple! I don’t think there is anything in my life that is going well. I look around me and I feel like everyone has it better. If I look objectively, I know that things aren’t so bad, in fact, people may feel that I am lucky. But, for myself, I just look at all the bad. How can I get past this?

Wishing My Life Was Different

Dear Wishing My Life Was Different,

It sounds like you are very unhappy with the way things are going in your life. This is a normal feeling that everyone experiences from time to time. But, you say that you constantly look at the bad, and you want to change that. This is not always so easy to do, but, with a little thought and effort, I think you can do it. One of the most important things you said was that if you look at things objectively, you realize that things "aren’t so bad", this means that there are probably lots of good things in your life, you just need to relearn how to focus on them.

Most people only feel dissatisfied with their lives when they compare their life with someone else. Remember your life is yours, not anyone else’s. Meaning, try and focus on what you have, rather than what other people have. One can never really appreciate what is given to them if they are always comparing it to what others have. You raised an important point by saying the way that you think others think you have it good, is probably the same way other people see things with you; no one has it perfect.

If you find that you are really stuck with seeing past your negative feelings, you may find seeing a competent therapist helpful for you on your journey.

I want to wish you the best of luck!


Beryl Tritel, MSW, is an associate at The Place. She specializes in the full range of Women’s Life Issues. If you would like to schedule an appointment with Beryl, or, another therapist, please contact The Place.


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