Grief is necessary when confronting any loss. It is actually the healing process that helps one deal with loss of a loved one. Grief does not have a clear beginning or a clear end rather it is individual. It is a reflection of one’s feelings surrounding the loss. One doesn’t get over the loss of someone. One learns to live with that loss. When someone we love passes on, the world becomes meaningless and overwhelming. Life is senseless. One is in shock, numb, and in denial. One wonders how to go on and if he can go on. Simply getting through the day is a mountainous chore. Denial and shock help make survival possible altogether. Denial helps one pace his feelings of grief letting only as much as one can handle. Otherwise those feelings would totally overcome and crush a person emotionally to the point of non-functioning.

Learning to feel your feeling is absolutely necessary in order to heal. You can’t heal what you don’t feel. The pain that you feel is often evidence of the love you feel for the loved one. Working through that pain is part of the process of acceptance and finding meaning. Meaning is not about finding answers to questions that have no answers. Meaning can then have significance in terms of a legacy, carrying on that connection into the future. This can be done through meditation, breathing exercises, writings, poems, journals, books, through art expression, drawings, paintings, clay, through organizational activities, volunteering, spearheading new and innovative ideas into reality, spending quality time with one’s own family, children, close friends, colleagues, or giving to others who are in need themselves. Support groups are helpful as they provide a safe place to talk about one’s losses, experiences, and feelings with others who are facing similar hurdles.