My Husband Prefers the Computer to Me!

Dear Therapist,

I really think we need therapy. My husband spends way too much time on the computer and I keep getting angry with him. When I try to mention this to him, my husband says “I’m just fine”. What should I do?

Distressed Wife

Dear Distressed,

I hear this is very difficult for you. You want your husband to spend time with you but the computer seems to be more attractive to him. This must be painful for you. It’s especially painful because he doesn’t even seem to care.

Have you tried to talk with him about this when things are good between the two of you? This is especially good to do on Shabbos when the computer is out of bounds. Have you tried to write him a letter describing how you feel in a positive and clear way? This means you stress what you like about him and why spending time with him is important to you. You could also try to see if you can agree to set times during the weekday when the computer is off limits. At that time you could find something else enjoyable to do together. This doesn’t have to be for a long time. A 1/2 hour can be enough.

If you try all these things and nothing seems to work, you might consider coming into therapy by yourself.

It’s clear that you want to make things better in your marriage.

The Therapist


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