My Wife Doesn’t Think That I Do Anything Right

Dear Therapist,

My wife doesn’t think that I do anything right. She is constantly criticizing me and putting me down. I try and try to do things the way that she wants, but, it is never good enough. Finally, I told her that I had enough and that we needed to go for marriage counseling, or, I was leaving. She agreed to come, but, now I am not so sure I even want to try. Do you think that counseling could work for us?

Finished Husband


Dear Finished Husband,

Wow, it sounds like you have been having a very hard time in your marriage. You describe how you have been really trying, but, your wife is not only unable to acknowledge all that you do, but, she is very critical of you as well. No one thrives under criticism, so, it is completely understandable that you would want to leave, but, I applaud you for considering marriage counseling.

One of most important things in marriage counseling is that both spouses want the marriage to work. A willingness to understand each other, improve communication skills and learn new ways to relate to each other are all parts of the work that you will do with your therapist.

And, when I say work, I mean work. It sounds like you and your wife will need to relearn many things about marriage, and, it will probably not be easy. But, like all things in life, anything worth having takes effort. And, a marriage that is continuously worked on, developed and nurtured can be one of the most rewarding parts of your life.

It sounds like you and your wife are ready for change. That desire will take you far in your work with a therapist. Take the time to find a skilled, sensitive and seasoned therapist to help you along the way.

I wish you the best of luck!

Beryl

 

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